fear after a wreck

[NOAHSGAL]

Hello All,

I have been riding behind my husband for over 10 years now, and this past April we had our first wreck. It was not a bad wreck in standards of wrecks, however, ever since the wreck, I have times were I have severe panic attacks, for really no reason, mainly if I feel like he is driving to fast or if we are going around a curve to fast. Once I start to feel uncomfortable, I have all these horriable thoughts of crashing go thur my head, and I can't stop them. This doesn't happen every time I ride, but it does happen to often. I really love riding with my husband and it is one of the few things we enjoying doing as a couple. I don't want to lose this because of my fear. Any suggestions would be really appreciated.

[zenn68]

I'm sure others will come in soon with different opinions. But maybe its time to step away from riding for a while. Having panic attacks isnt helping you. Does your Husband know about this? If you really love to ride as you say, once the anxiety clears, you will find your way back.

[NOAHSGAL]

Yes He Is Aware, And Helps Me Thru Them.

[kay]

A female rider friend of mine had a horrible wreck (was hospitalized for 6 months) and ever since then, she just cannot ride on highways and can only go about 50mph. Her hubby always rides patiently behind her when she does.

I cannot say anything for sure since I never had a wreck myself, but like them, I have a feeling it might take time. That friend of mine is a very skillful rider, BTW. But even with her skills, she is still petrified and it's already been about 5 yrs since her wreck. But what helped her to at least try riding again was to step back. She didn't ride for almost the entire period and just got back on her bike this year.

She's still trying to rid herself of the fear but at least she made it back to ride.

I really don't know if she will continue to have this fear or whether, one day, she will come out of it but she is now participating in various riding schools to regain her confidence.

Good luck. I think I will feel the same way if I had a wreck myself.

But I do agree that panic attacks while riding is neither helping you nor is it good in terms of safety.

[intimid8er]

That bike is always going to feel as if it's going to slide out from under you. The corner is always going to be approached too fast. The tires are never going to have enough grip.

A few things will happen....you'll eventually naturally get over it, and reinstall faith in your husband's skills.

You'll force yourself to get over it, and eventually re-learn to trust your husbands skills.

You'll never get over it, and be gripped with fear, not necessarily from wrecking again, but fear of the panic attacks.

Or you'll seek professional help and get prescribed a low low low dose of Xanax or Valium that will over time, allow you to forget your fears and enjoy yourself once again.

As Americans we always go for the quick and easy route, which would be the pills. I'm not an advocate for 'em, but I've seen 'em work wonders on people with the correct dosage.

(Myself I'd be more apt to tell you to put your big girl pants on, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and get back in the saddle! )

[Ext1jdh]

I'd recommend professional help over a bunch of hacks on the internet. This will probably be a long slow recovery process

Ever since I got out of the hospital I have been less comfortable riding - and riding had nothing to do with why I was in the hospital.

[Low&Slow]

What, big girl pants isn't professional? I've come to believe that the people who stick around this forum long enough don't need riding gear, their skins are thick and they have hard heads.

[Mavman]

Originally Posted by Low&Slow

What, big girl pants isn't professional? I've come to believe that the people who stick around this forum long enough don't need riding gear, their skins are thick and they have hard heads.

That has got to be the truest statement made in a long, long time!


Ok, well.....I'll say it right here and now.....

Low&Slow for PRESIDENT!!!

BTW, I'd like a salad with my windy's burger too.

[kay]

Originally Posted by Low&Slow

What, big girl pants isn't professional? I've come to believe that the people who stick around this forum long enough don't need riding gear, their skins are thick and they have hard heads.

Hard heads!!!
We sure do!

[Mavman]

Seriously though........I'd take a break, not a long one, but enough to shake off the fear a tad, then hop back on for little outings periodically, then a few longer rides.....hopefully after a while and some longer jaunts and the more often you get back in the saddle.....said "fear" will subside enough for you to enjoy yourself riding again.

[NOAHSGAL]

well thanks for eveyone's comments.. I think I will look into professional help. Just wanted to see what other riders thought.
Thanks again

[atomic]

This subject definitely interests me because my wife rides with me. I would certainly like to know how this goes for you. While I've warned her of the possible outcomes, I really don't know how she would handle it.

If I ever felt she was uncomfortable riding again after an accident, I would likely refuse to let her ride until she was comfortable again. I'd feel guilty enough from the first accident and don't know how I'd handle riding with her after that. Maybe I would need therapy too!

I have wrecked before (no minor accident), as a driver and alone. I followed the advice most commonly given, which is to get back on the bike soon as is reasonably possible, and, while uncomfortable at first, it works.

But as a passenger? If it was me, I think it would be harder to deal with because, unlike the driver, who has some control of the siutation, you have practically no control. And since I'm a control freak, I don't think I'd handle that well. In fact, because of this, I hated being the passenger on bikes as a kid. So I think it takes a lot of guts to ride as a passenger.

Good luck and I hope you make it back soon!

[geoffsimpson]

Have you tried picturing other riders naked...? Oh wait, that's for something else entirely

[87gsxrnut]

I crashed during practice and broke my back (although I didn't know it at the time) and messed my foot up pretty good. I was racing a backup bike less than an hour later. When I was a lad, I crashed, broke my collarbone, screwed up a knee, got a concussion. I put the bike to riding shape and in three days or so, was riding up and down the street in a brace.

Get back on the horse and ride.

- Nut

[nateW]

I know your pain. I have a similar problem. Mine though is that after being rear ended in Little Rock back in febuary. I have an enate fear that people are following too close and it bugs me.
I choice to turn my fear into anger and make attempts to get them to back off.(if they are actually too close). I worry yes. But the worry turns to anger which keeps me upright and moving.

I know none of that made any since. But it helps me.

I guess what I"m saying is. Find a way to funnel that fear into safer riding practices. As long as you fear it you will respect it. As long as you respect it. You'll live.

[ORBrit]

Have you considered becoming a rider yourself, instead of a passenger? That way you'd have control of the situation, and be able to ride within your comfort zone.
It would allow you to ride together still and possibly bring more enjoyment to both of you at the same time.

If it's no longer fun, because of the anxiety, then give it some time, or try another activity.

Oh and your profile says your bike is an "Electric Glide Standard"

Is that similar to an Electra glide but with hybrid technology?

[zenn68]

Originally Posted by nateW

I know your pain. I have a similar problem. Mine though is that after being rear ended in Little Rock back in febuary. I have an enate fear that people are following too close and it bugs me.

I got rear ended not too long ago. Got right back on the bike, soon as I could. But now, I'm constantly checking the mirror for cars coming up behind me, When they get too close makes me nervous. I've noticed sometimes I spend more time checking the mirror than watching the road in front of me.

[koolbreeze25]

I can understand what you are going through. When I was young and riding dirt bikes I had my share of falls, nothing serious. Everytime, my father helped me get over my fear of riding again. Then when I got my first street bike, which I totaled and walked away from, got home after the accident, first thing I did was asked my dad if I could take his bike for a short ride. He gladly gave me the keys to his bike. Then the last accident, again not real serious, I broke the middle knuckel on my left hand and got 3 pins put in it. After that I bought a new bike with my hand still in a cast. My dad got to break in the bike, which he happily did.

You have already have gotten back on after the accident, so take a break and/or take short rides till you overcome the attacks. Just go at your own pace, and no one knows that but you. Also ride safe.

[nateW]

Originally Posted by zenn68

I got rear ended not too long ago. Got right back on the bike, soon as I could. But now, I'm constantly checking the mirror for cars coming up behind me, When they get too close makes me nervous. I've noticed sometimes I spend more time checking the mirror than watching the road in front of me.

I rode the bike home from the wreck site. 120 miles to the house. I got back on right then and there. But I keep an eye on the mirror like you said.

[Danr]

Originally Posted by Ext1jdh

I'd recommend professional help over a bunch of hacks on the internet. This will probably be a long slow recovery process

Ever since I got out of the hospital I have been less comfortable riding - and riding had nothing to do with why I was in the hospital.

About 10 years ago my wife was involved in a car accident, Her car was totaled. She was not injured all that bad and did not even go to the hospital.

After the accident she would not drive any further then to the grocery store and would have panic attacks at the slightest thing. She had to go to psychoanalysis therapy for over a year before things got back to normal. Luckily our insurance company paid for all the treatments. There is NO SHAME in seeking professional help and with NO DRUGS needed.