Maharishi FattiFatDude's Guide to Zen - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

Dwayne Hicks · 06-25-2005, 10:13 AM

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

The darkest hours come before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air. Its only important when you're not getting any.

Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.

Never forget, that like everyone else, you are unique.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a few mortgage payments.

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Have you ever lent someone $20.00 and never seen them again? It was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days we are the flies, some days the windscreen.

Don't worry: it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

The quickest way to double your money is fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Experience is something you don't get till just after you need it.

When we are born, we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse.

The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.