What Men Want (a list) - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

Hardware · 04-26-2005, 10:08 PM

Thinking about this there's not one thing I would change...

What Men Want

1. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
2. Vitamin fortified cigars.
3. Public beer fountains.
4. Kitty catapults.
5. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
6. Wet T-shirt Fridays.
7. To replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
8. Rocket boots.
9. Machine gun camp.
10. NASA space shuttle races.
11. Sledgehammer boxing.
12. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind and delete arguments.
13. Congressional pie fights.
14. Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
15. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
16. Tomahawk missile surf boards.
17. Hot tub jury boxes.
18. Nacho cheese lipstick.
19. Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
20. New TV shows: PBS's The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live and America's Funniest Farts.
21. 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
22. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
23. Condoms that whistle, whir and honk when used.
24. Inflatable sex dolls who cook.
25. Beef jerky business cards.
26. Combination briefcase/pizza oven.
27. National Make Out with Cheerleaders Day.
28. Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.
29. Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.
30. Karaoke "ejector" stages.
31. Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.
32. The Astronaut Reserves.
33. Porn without all the "talking" filler.
34. Head banging elevated to "fine art."
35. All money spent on woman, tax deductible.
36. Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.
37. Passports to Margaritaville.
38. The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.
39. One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.
40. More beer. More cheese. More sex.

#7 is my favourite...

**87gsxrnut** · 04-27-2005, 06:49 AM

That about sums it up.

- Nut

**Clint** · 04-27-2005, 07:47 AM

Well, duh!

rmcelroy · 04-27-2005, 07:52 AM

sounds good to me.

B_Wayne · 04-27-2005, 08:12 AM

Nice...

bat4255 · 04-27-2005, 08:41 AM

Add a Beer Fetching Dog.

B_Wayne · 04-27-2005, 09:05 AM

Thats why you have children! (kidding of course)

SVZuki · 04-27-2005, 09:10 AM

not so much a beer fetching dog as a beer fetching monkey, that way when you gf pisses you off you can command him to fling poo at her.

bat4255 · 04-27-2005, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B_Wayne

Thats why you have children! (kidding of course)

They did work good for that, but there all grown up now. The youngest is 27 and about 15 minutes away. I can't wait that long.

Nexus242 · 04-27-2005, 10:55 AM

Strangley I'll pass on all those wants. I'm not a huge beer drinker, BBQ or cheese eater, don't watch the NHL, NFL, NBA or either ALB and NLB, not into guns, and like the audio of porn. Oh and I love my two cats.

**Trapper** · 04-27-2005, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexus242

Strangley I'll pass on all those wants. I'm not a huge beer drinker, BBQ or cheese eater, don't watch the NHL, NFL, NBA or either ALB and NLB, not into guns, and like the audio of porn. Oh and I love my two cats.

And there is nothing wrong with that no matter what anyone tells you.

Samsonskeg · 04-27-2005, 11:53 AM

ive always narrowed it down to 3 list

Sex, Explosives, and Food

SoCalMike · 04-27-2005, 12:29 PM

Im some what disturbed at how cool that list is. While im not as big a beer drinker or cheese eater as the "typical man" i guess, i would DEFINITELY love my own Personal midget-ninja chauffeur.

Nexus242 · 04-27-2005, 02:16 PM

1) HDTV in a 60" home theator setting
2) A fast sports car
3) A fast sport bike
4) Beautiful sunny days and warm nights
5) A 3 car garage work shop
6) A big house with yard on the river
7) A fast speed boat
8 ) A fit, beautiful and understanding wife who likes speed too.
9) A state full of reasonable and understanding police officers who also like speed too.
and last but not least
10) Weather that only allows it to rain between 12am and 6am.

That's what I want

hrglas · 04-27-2005, 05:57 PM

#5 works for me!

TL chris · 04-27-2005, 06:08 PM

Best list ever.

LayinLo · 04-27-2005, 09:31 PM

...And a midget to fetch my morning paper...

FIVEINCH · 04-27-2005, 10:41 PM

Breasts on her back, too.

jaydog19833 · 04-27-2005, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SVboy84

not so much a beer fetching dog as a beer fetching monkey, that way when you gf pisses you off you can command him to fling poo at her.

haha I was definately gonna say a beer fetching monkey. lol

SVZuki · 04-28-2005, 07:08 AM

good to see my idea didnt go unnoticed, lol

04-26-2005, 10:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
Hardware Sprocket Pilot Joined: Sep 2004 Bike: 2004 Hayabusa Location: Tokyo, Japan Posts: 843	What Men Want (a list) Thinking about this there's not one thing I would change... What Men Want 1. More beer. More cheese. More sex. 2. Vitamin fortified cigars. 3. Public beer fountains. 4. Kitty catapults. 5. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters. 6. Wet T-shirt Fridays. 7. To replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors. 8. Rocket boots. 9. Machine gun camp. 10. NASA space shuttle races. 11. Sledgehammer boxing. 12. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind and delete arguments. 13. Congressional pie fights. 14. Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero. 15. More beer. More cheese. More sex. 16. Tomahawk missile surf boards. 17. Hot tub jury boxes. 18. Nacho cheese lipstick. 19. Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs. 20. New TV shows: PBS's The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live and America's Funniest Farts. 21. 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar. 22. More beer. More cheese. More sex. 23. Condoms that whistle, whir and honk when used. 24. Inflatable sex dolls who cook. 25. Beef jerky business cards. 26. Combination briefcase/pizza oven. 27. National Make Out with Cheerleaders Day. 28. Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses. 29. Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer. 30. Karaoke "ejector" stages. 31. Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN. 32. The Astronaut Reserves. 33. Porn without all the "talking" filler. 34. Head banging elevated to "fine art." 35. All money spent on woman, tax deductible. 36. Free BBQ buffet at the DMV. 37. Passports to Margaritaville. 38. The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot. 39. One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card. 40. More beer. More cheese. More sex. #7 is my favourite... __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons...for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

04-27-2005, 06:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
87gsxrnut Ho Dog Joined: Dec 2003 Bike: 867-5309 Location: Terror Lake Posts: 4,173	That about sums it up. - Nut __________________ Person or person's unknown.

04-27-2005, 08:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
B_Wayne BATtery Filler Joined: Oct 2004 Bike: 2002 Kawasaki ZX-6R Location: Washington DC Posts: 510	Nice... __________________ "...I seek a means to fight injustice. To turn fear against those who prey on the fearful..."

04-27-2005, 09:05 AM	#7 (permalink)
B_Wayne BATtery Filler Joined: Oct 2004 Bike: 2002 Kawasaki ZX-6R Location: Washington DC Posts: 510	Thats why you have children! (kidding of course) __________________ "...I seek a means to fight injustice. To turn fear against those who prey on the fearful..."

04-27-2005, 10:55 AM	#10 (permalink)
Nexus242 Can Ride And Chew Gum Joined: Aug 2004 Bike: yellow and black Location: Wide awake in dreamland... Posts: 1,935	Strangley I'll pass on all those wants. I'm not a huge beer drinker, BBQ or cheese eater, don't watch the NHL, NFL, NBA or either ALB and NLB, not into guns, and like the audio of porn. Oh and I love my two cats. __________________ The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you...Smashing Pumpkins

04-27-2005, 07:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
rmcelroy In Training Joined: Apr 2005 Bike: '04 Honda CBR 1000RR Location: Alabama Posts: 139	sounds good to me.

04-27-2005, 08:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
bat4255 Squirrel Target Joined: Dec 2003 Bike: Burgman 650 K3- 22,500 miles as of 9-24-07 Location: Dodge Co. Wisconsin Posts: 661	Add a Beer Fetching Dog.

04-27-2005, 09:10 AM	#8 (permalink)
SVZuki Dastardly villain Joined: Sep 2004 Bike: '01 Marauder VZ800, '08 M109R w/LE mods Location: Royal Oak, MI Posts: 1,610	not so much a beer fetching dog as a beer fetching monkey, that way when you gf pisses you off you can command him to fling poo at her.

04-27-2005, 11:53 AM	#12 (permalink)
Samsonskeg Clunked into first gear Joined: Oct 2004 Bike: 01 katana Location: New York Posts: 205	ive always narrowed it down to 3 list Sex, Explosives, and Food __________________ "What curse? You just sucked for 86 years!"

04-27-2005, 12:29 PM	#13 (permalink)
SoCalMike In Training Joined: Oct 2004 Location: San Diego CA Posts: 142	Im some what disturbed at how cool that list is. While im not as big a beer drinker or cheese eater as the "typical man" i guess, i would DEFINITELY love my own Personal midget-ninja chauffeur.

04-27-2005, 02:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
Nexus242 Can Ride And Chew Gum Joined: Aug 2004 Bike: yellow and black Location: Wide awake in dreamland... Posts: 1,935	1) HDTV in a 60" home theator setting 2) A fast sports car 3) A fast sport bike 4) Beautiful sunny days and warm nights 5) A 3 car garage work shop 6) A big house with yard on the river 7) A fast speed boat 8 ) A fit, beautiful and understanding wife who likes speed too. 9) A state full of reasonable and understanding police officers who also like speed too. and last but not least 10) Weather that only allows it to rain between 12am and 6am. That's what I want __________________ The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you...Smashing Pumpkins Last edited by Nexus242; 04-27-2005 at 02:19 PM.

04-27-2005, 05:57 PM	#15 (permalink)
hrglas In Training Joined: Apr 2005 Bike: 2005 GSX-R 600 (Yellow/Blue) Location: Rolling Meadows, IL Posts: 108	#5 works for me! __________________ "Joker's Wild"

04-27-2005, 06:08 PM	#16 (permalink)
TL chris Tater Salad Joined: Jun 2004 Bike: 1999 TL1000R Location: NorCal Posts: 1,926	Best list ever. __________________ 1999 Suzuki TL1000R, Yosh RS-3, TRE, PC II, Custom Paint, OEM sweetness

04-27-2005, 09:31 PM	#17 (permalink)
LayinLo Flipper ( Don't Ask ) Joined: Jul 2004 Bike: Crunchy 02 GSX-R 750 Location: Alabama Posts: 3,936	...And a midget to fetch my morning paper...

04-27-2005, 10:41 PM	#18 (permalink)
FIVEINCH U.B's LoveChild Joined: Aug 2004 Bike: GSXR600K4 + D&D = DSRPTV!!!!!! Location: San Angelo, TX Posts: 1,083	Breasts on her back, too. __________________ I can see you... MK86: The US Navy Sends Its Regards... FIVE INCHES AT A TIME!!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

04-28-2005, 07:08 AM	#20 (permalink)
SVZuki Dastardly villain Joined: Sep 2004 Bike: '01 Marauder VZ800, '08 M109R w/LE mods Location: Royal Oak, MI Posts: 1,610	good to see my idea didnt go unnoticed, lol

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