Surgery tomorrow

[SuzukiBD]

Sorry....CUTE nurses.

It's funny, I just had my appendix out last weekend at midnight on a Saturday and noticed the beefy gals work late at night. But during the day, wow! I thought the angels were coming for me. They let me leave the following day around 2. I almost didn't want to leave until I wondered how much an extra day there would cost me above what my insurance plan covers. Freakin' HMO's!

[SNAFU]

Well I see you get to eat some grape jello. .............. Wait a minute, that's not jello!

[diamond_jim]

Originally Posted by SuzukiBD

Let's see some nurses!

[bikerbabe]

Just got done making homemade chicken and dumplings can i get you some?!!

[diamond_jim]

Originally Posted by bikerbabe

Just got done making homemade chicken and dumplings can i get you some?!!

Heck yeah!!!

I just got in big trouble though.

You see this. This is a drain bulb.


The other end of the tube is stuck in my head. When the doc came in earlier he noticed I was swelling more than he liked. He wanted the area to drain a little faster. On the wall, along with oxygen, is the suction. It's just a dial on the wall that you attach a hose to. The other side of the dial is piping in the walls that goes to some big vacuum motor somewhere. The nurse attached the suction tubing to the drain bulb to improve the drain flow.


But after a half hour, I noticed that even with the suction added to the drain bulb, it still wasn't doing a lot of good. The bulb seems to be the weak link.

So I took both lines off of the bulb, tossed the bulb, slid the smaller line into the suction line and cranked up the suction. Alright, now we're cookin'. Now I could see a slow but steady movement of blood being drained from the surgery site. All was good until the nurse came back in the room and totally flipped out. I had to fix it back. She said the doc would go off on her big time if he saw that.

Hmmm... I guess I can't go around modding everything.

[geoffsimpson]

now he's modding the hospital!! you're a class act Diamond!

[cms58]

Originally Posted by diamond_jim

Ya shoudda sayed you wanna sponge bath.

[SuzukiBD]

Originally Posted by diamond_jim

My, my my. This has me thinking what else can I have done?

[russd]

good luck

[Easy Rider]

Originally Posted by diamond_jim

Well bud, it sounds like you are in pretty good spirits.

Which one of them is gonna take the catheter out ??

Hope you don't have any "swelling" in that area!

[diamond_jim]

Yep. I'm doing good. Just got another shot or morphine. At least this nurse new to administer it slowly. The last one slammed 4mg through the IV in my left hand and I about jumped off of the bed.

I'm still waiting for my urinal. They keep saying they're gonna bring one. I've used three different items in the room thus far for urine collection.

[geoffsimpson]

I've been keeping my wife posted on this. It's friggen gold! We were crying laughing so hard at your urinal problem. Dude, i'm glad you're in good spirits! Makes me wanna drill a hole in my head too....

Hmm, debaffle and fibrosleeve a human skull......?

[tricker]

makes me wish i worked in the actual clinic with the nurses... might be worth the evening and occasional night shift..

[diamond_jim]

The 1st shift nurse said they need to monitor urine output so I've got to put it in something. Hell, it's all gonna be thrown away anyways. The third shift nurse came in and cleaned my surgery area. She got mad at me too. You know that stupid bandage I had on in the earlier pic? She came in to find it laying on the floor. The doc had put it on when he came by around 5:00pm after he kneaded the wound area to remove the clot. Now, everyone knows that nurses and techs are much better at wound dressing than doctors. It was too tight. I couldn't open my mouth to eat. Then the few times I was able to open my mouth, I couldn't swallow. I ripped that f*cker off! While the nurse was cleaning the wound, she kept lecturing me saying, "... the doctor put that on for a reason" and asking, "do you know why the doctor put a dressing on?". "Uh... I don't know, Shaqueesha. I guess to make me even more uncomfortable."

My wife was funny today. You have to understand that the biggest risk with this surgery is damaging the facial nerves, leaving you with facial droopage, an eyelide that won't blink, half a smile that doesn't work, etc. When she first saw me after the surgery (I had only a bandage over my ear at that time) she was trying to determine if my face still worked. But she didn't want to just come out and ask. So while I laid there groggy, she would try to say something she thought was funny and laugh at it herself while watching me closely. I must admit that for a moment there I toyed with the idea of acting like my face was messed up just to freak her out. But I didn't. I smiled. She smiled. Hell, everyone has smiled.

Except Shaqueesha.

[womper]

they did a good job on it... i can't even see the scar line...
you're still ugly though...
guess they can't fix everything

hope you have a speedy recovery...

[buster]

Nice to see you on the other side of the op'.

I had heard some of the nurses there were real dolls....



Like this...











Speedy recovery mate..

[diamond_jim]

My time in the Army taught me to be field expedient when I don't have the exact tools that I need. It's amazing how that training can be applied to civilian life. For instance, when nurses take 8 hours to bring a urinal, I found that these three items can be effectively substituted as urine collectors.

[womper]

hahaha...
you should take a pic of her face at the discovery...

[KD57]

Tip of the week:

Be sure and swipe some of those odd shaped urinal thingy's, they are a great place to put your bolts and small parts in when you work on your bike. They nest together and store easily.

[intimid8er]

Just piss the bed.

That'll insure you have a urinal.