"Football" with the Wife - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

themeatmanlandry · 09-02-2004, 12:47 PM

As many of you know, I have a 6-week old (is that right? let's see . . . yep! 6 weeks and one day) baby at home. Now bear in mind . . . the wife and I have only played "football" once in the last, oh, say 8-10 weeks, and that was last Sunday. Good game, BTW . . . I know, I know, TMI.

Anyway, so last night she gave me 'the look' (you know 'the look'), so I got the ball out and headed over to the field and started up a little game. The baby was in the living room, in her basinette. Well . . .

I take a great hand-off and start romping down the field, smashing through defenders, high-fiving the fans, etc. I cross my own 30 . . . then the 40 . . . the 50 . . . the opponents 40 . . . then, right as I'm about to cross the 30 (I was running really fast), the kid breaks out in a wail.

I kept running (I don't know what I was thinking . . . but the wife was still blocking so she obviously didn't want me to get tackled), and running, and running. The wail gets louder. Right as I'm crossing the 15 yard line or so (maybe the ten, you never really know until you've made the touchdown, eh?) I have to stop and down the ball. Game over.

I'm so depressed. I may not be the bast ball carrier in the world, but dammit! I was going for a touchdown. WHen you ain't made a touchdown in a while, you know, you need the points.

Bluejeans · 09-02-2004, 12:56 PM

Good analogy...but definitely TMI!

Bluejeans · 09-02-2004, 12:56 PM

By the way...get used to it.

themeatmanlandry · 09-02-2004, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluejeans

By the way...get used to it.

Oh, maaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bluejeans · 09-02-2004, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by themeatmanlandry

"Other than sex, there is no feeling in the world like cornering a motorcycle . . . and it'd better be some damned good sex." -- Landry

The best advice I can offer you is find some really good corners....

**87gsxrnut** · 09-02-2004, 01:05 PM

HA-HA!

Your new handle: blublz

A lot of my homeboys are going through that right now. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

- Nut

themeatmanlandry · 09-02-2004, 01:06 PM

Quote:

A lot of my homeboys are going through that right now. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I wish I had been (wait . . . is this thing on?!?)

Quote:

The best advice I can offer you is find some really good corners....

Now THAT 'znit is funny!!

Bluejeans · 09-02-2004, 01:07 PM

You see, for awhile, the memory of the pain of childbirth lingers...and we remember what got us in that predicament in the first place...

red7eb · 09-02-2004, 02:05 PM

Mark.. look at it this way.. NOW is your time to experiment.. to envision...to show your TRUE artistic capabilities...

What am I referring to? Having a new bundle of joy in the house, means learning to work on your "timing", finding a lot of new (and preferably adventurous) places to "play", figuring out which ummm positions you two are anatomically capable of "playing" in, and the list goes on..

Translation: Now you get to learn how many times you can manage quickies, how many different positions you can manage them in, and how many locations in your house you can come up with, all to enable you both to have a great play time. The reasons: Must remain withing hearing range of the said bundle of joy (or her monitor), must have positions that enable HER (you're a guarantee) to achieve touchdown status as well, and most importantly, since "quickies" are going to be a lot more common than they used to be, you can't let the said "quickies" become boring.

Was that TMI for the boards?

SuzukiGirl1 · 09-02-2004, 02:10 PM

Wow!!

**87gsxrnut** · 09-02-2004, 02:12 PM

Quickies boring? Naaaaah . . . .

- Nut

red7eb · 09-02-2004, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuzukiGirl1

Wow!!

Actually, you don't realize it gets like that, until you look back at it.

red7eb · 09-02-2004, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 87gsxrnut

Quickies boring? Naaaaah . . . .

- Nut

Ha! So sayeth the MAN

The key is not to let them GET boring.

**inspiron** · 09-02-2004, 02:27 PM

Sometimes it really is amazing what one can learn in this forum

I was hoping to play some ball this weekend, but I think that there's a penalty flag before the hike. Damn. 5 yard penalty and a timeout.

**87gsxrnut** · 09-02-2004, 02:28 PM

Damn you guys have problems.

:o

- Nut

SuzukiGirl1 · 09-02-2004, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red7eb

Quote:

Originally Posted by 87gsxrnut

Quickies boring? Naaaaah . . . .

- Nut

Ha! So sayeth the MAN

The key is not to let them GET boring.

Yeah, maybe not boring for the GUY!!!!

the key is quicky but not toooooooo quickie, right girls!!

**inspiron** · 09-02-2004, 02:41 PM

Are you trying to dispel another one of those "lies" that has been propogated over the years?

My g/f told me that the statement "size doesn't matter" was actually a huge lie, used to make "size challenged" men feel better.

Janis · 09-02-2004, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 87gsxrnut

Damn you guys have problems.

:o

- Nut

Nahh Nuttie.
This is average: that's what they invented lovers for <hint>

Janis · 09-02-2004, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuzukiGirl1

Yeah, maybe not boring for the GUY!!!!

the key is quicky but not toooooooo quickie, right girls!!

Quick as long as she gets to come.

There are many tricks to make a girl come fast.
Just think we can make ourself do in 15 secs.

Am I being non family oriented?

Janis · 09-02-2004, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inspiron

Are you trying to dispel another one of those "lies" that has been propogated over the years?

My g/f told me that the statement "size doesn't matter" was actually a huge lie, used to make "size challenged" men feel better.

Your g/f is right.
Size DOES matter. It's not the only thing of course but it definitely does.
There are many tricks here too, though

Will charge you to disclose 'em!

09-02-2004, 12:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
themeatmanlandry Happy-ass Lunatic Joined: Dec 2003 Bike: 2002 Bandit 600S (Black); 2006 GSXR750 (Black) Location: Memphis Posts: 11,423	"Football" with the Wife As many of you know, I have a 6-week old (is that right? let's see . . . yep! 6 weeks and one day) baby at home. Now bear in mind . . . the wife and I have only played "football" once in the last, oh, say 8-10 weeks, and that was last Sunday. Good game, BTW . . . I know, I know, TMI. Anyway, so last night she gave me 'the look' (you know 'the look'), so I got the ball out and headed over to the field and started up a little game. The baby was in the living room, in her basinette. Well . . . I take a great hand-off and start romping down the field, smashing through defenders, high-fiving the fans, etc. I cross my own 30 . . . then the 40 . . . the 50 . . . the opponents 40 . . . then, right as I'm about to cross the 30 (I was running really fast), the kid breaks out in a wail. I kept running (I don't know what I was thinking . . . but the wife was still blocking so she obviously didn't want me to get tackled), and running, and running. The wail gets louder. Right as I'm crossing the 15 yard line or so (maybe the ten, you never really know until you've made the touchdown, eh?) I have to stop and down the ball. Game over. I'm so depressed. I may not be the bast ball carrier in the world, but dammit! I was going for a touchdown. WHen you ain't made a touchdown in a while, you know, you need the points. __________________ Go to hell

09-02-2004, 12:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bluejeans Clunked into first gear Joined: Aug 2004 Location: Maine Posts: 226	Good analogy...but definitely TMI! __________________ There are 10 kinds of people...those who know binary and those who don't ------- 1995 Intruder VS800 - Black w/blue metallic flake 2003 Savage - Teal Green

09-02-2004, 12:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Bluejeans Clunked into first gear Joined: Aug 2004 Location: Maine Posts: 226	By the way...get used to it. __________________ There are 10 kinds of people...those who know binary and those who don't ------- 1995 Intruder VS800 - Black w/blue metallic flake 2003 Savage - Teal Green

09-02-2004, 01:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
87gsxrnut Ho Dog Joined: Dec 2003 Bike: 867-5309 Location: Terror Lake Posts: 4,203	HA-HA! Your new handle: blublz A lot of my homeboys are going through that right now. YOU ARE NOT ALONE - Nut __________________ Person or person's unknown.

09-02-2004, 01:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
Bluejeans Clunked into first gear Joined: Aug 2004 Location: Maine Posts: 226	You see, for awhile, the memory of the pain of childbirth lingers...and we remember what got us in that predicament in the first place... __________________ There are 10 kinds of people...those who know binary and those who don't ------- 1995 Intruder VS800 - Black w/blue metallic flake 2003 Savage - Teal Green

09-02-2004, 02:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
red7eb Clutch Cadet Joined: May 2004 Bike: 2001 GSX-R750 Location: Maryland (Howard County) Posts: 935	Mark.. look at it this way.. NOW is your time to experiment.. to envision...to show your TRUE artistic capabilities... What am I referring to? Having a new bundle of joy in the house, means learning to work on your "timing", finding a lot of new (and preferably adventurous) places to "play", figuring out which ummm positions you two are anatomically capable of "playing" in, and the list goes on.. Translation: Now you get to learn how many times you can manage quickies, how many different positions you can manage them in, and how many locations in your house you can come up with, all to enable you both to have a great play time. The reasons: Must remain withing hearing range of the said bundle of joy (or her monitor), must have positions that enable HER (you're a guarantee) to achieve touchdown status as well, and most importantly, since "quickies" are going to be a lot more common than they used to be, you can't let the said "quickies" become boring. Was that TMI for the boards? __________________ *You know he doesn't ride when he asks to ride bch and thinks it's "cute"...***

09-02-2004, 02:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
SuzukiGirl1 Moderatrix Joined: Mar 2004 Bike: 2004 SV650S Location: St. Paul, MN Posts: 2,700	"Football" with the Wife Wow!! __________________ SuzukiGirl '04 SV650S, Yellow...lovely!!

09-02-2004, 02:12 PM	#11 (permalink)
87gsxrnut Ho Dog Joined: Dec 2003 Bike: 867-5309 Location: Terror Lake Posts: 4,203	Quickies boring? Naaaaah . . . . - Nut __________________ Person or person's unknown.

09-02-2004, 02:27 PM	#14 (permalink)
inspiron Muscle Biker Joined: Jul 2004 Bike: Blue Suzuki GSX 1400 (2003) Location: Canton Basel-Land, Switzerland (47.4493, 7.76536) Posts: 11,947	Sometimes it really is amazing what one can learn in this forum I was hoping to play some ball this weekend, but I think that there's a penalty flag before the hike. Damn. 5 yard penalty and a timeout. __________________ There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe blog: gsx1400

09-02-2004, 02:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
87gsxrnut Ho Dog Joined: Dec 2003 Bike: 867-5309 Location: Terror Lake Posts: 4,203	Damn you guys have problems. :o - Nut __________________ Person or person's unknown.

09-02-2004, 02:41 PM	#17 (permalink)
inspiron Muscle Biker Joined: Jul 2004 Bike: Blue Suzuki GSX 1400 (2003) Location: Canton Basel-Land, Switzerland (47.4493, 7.76536) Posts: 11,947	Are you trying to dispel another one of those "lies" that has been propogated over the years? My g/f told me that the statement "size doesn't matter" was actually a huge lie, used to make "size challenged" men feel better. __________________ There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe blog: gsx1400

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