The Zen of Sarcasm - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

AZRyder · 01-18-2008, 10:20 AM

he Zen of Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not
walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the
hell alone .

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and leaky tire

3 . Its always darkest before dawn . So if you're
going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the
time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable . If you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like
everyone else .

6. . Never test the depth of the water with both
feet .

7. . If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments .

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk
a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize
them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is
probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and
drink beer all day .

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to
remember anything.

13 Some days you're the bug; some days you're
the windshield .

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know
them .

15. The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it in half and put it back in your pocket .

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot .

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a
light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe
together .

18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works .

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning
much when your lips are moving .

20 . Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it .

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night