The craziest thing I have ever seen. - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

D_Klein · 03-19-2007, 02:36 PM

There are times in your life where you'll see something so surreal that you have to question reality altogether. The effect is even more amplified when you're completely sober.

On Thursday night, my friend Amy and I went to a Chinese restaurant to pick up some carry-out. The parking lot itself was a freaking disaster, and I hoped that it had nothing to do with the restaurant. Unfortunately, I was wrong. There was some sort of party or banquet going on, and the lobby of the restaurant was jam-packed; enough to put me on edge instantly. While waiting for our food, my eyes scanned the room and met a sight that I simply could not look away from.

Sitting down all by her lonesome was a woman wearing a green sequin dress with white stars of all shapes and sizes emblazoned upon it. She wore black and white striped tights and a large hat. A tacky enough getup in itself, but what truly made me double-take in horror was the newspaper that she was holding in front of her face. There were two eye holes cut into the newspaper with chillingly meticulous precision, and she swiveled her head quizzically around the room, eyeballing everybody through the holes in the newspaper. I couldn't see her eyes, so I couldn't tell who or what she was looking at. At first, I thought she might have been a woman who was slowly losing a battle with insanity and I tried not to stare. Looking away, I noticed everyone else in the jam-packed lobby staring at this freak of nature, this character straight out of a comic book or scary children's novel. There was simply no way to ignore such a twisted sight.

I discreetly pointed the woman out to Amy, and neither of us knew what the hell to make of it. I desperately wanted my food to arrive before this woman tried to eat my face. Moments later, the woman got up from her seat and slowly tiptoed across the room with high-arcing steps, as if doing so made her invisible to the awestricken onlookers. She had a face as pale as I'd ever seen, along with the reddest lipstick and the darkest, largest sunglasses. She reminded me of a real-life Spy vs. Spy. She lurked her way to a far corner of the restaurant where she continued to peer through the eyeholes cut in her newspaper. The swiveling of her head was almost mechanical, and I could swear she was looking at me.

Shortly after, we got our food and got the hell out of dodge before the bloodbath began.