How should I tell her? - Page 2 - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

Rockhead · 03-12-2007, 10:08 AM

Agreed, this relationships over.

Go get yourself a new woman or many new women.

Ext1jdh · 03-12-2007, 10:12 AM

As Bill Hicks said:

"It's gonna take a very special woman … or a bunch of average ones."

92Notch · 03-12-2007, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwfanatic

Hey guys..little problem here...so heres the sheezy... I was going to meet my girlfriend to hang out with her for a few hours....and i was driving and i stopped at a local grocery store to pick up a few things....

....so i was going to pay for the stuff and i saw her there(her names Janet to make things easier) so i saw Janet with my friend of 5 years..pretty much my best friend...and i was like what the heck.... they didnt see me somehow and she just leaned over and kissed him and he held her and whatn ot..well my heart dropped in to my stomach... i didnt want to do anything until iwas surei t was them....so i proceeded to Janet's house i got there and played the whole thing off like i didnt see anything..so did she...so the next day i saw my friend who was with Janet...i asked him about it and ihe said he didnt know what he was talking about... i then went to see Janet....and ask her about it and she said she has no idea what im talking about and that im paranoid

... okay im positive it was them i KNOW it was and i have been with Janet for 6 years...so...this is gonan be hard but i think im gonan dump her..if theres one thing i cant stand its dishonesty in a realtionship it jsut makes me feel sour... SO... i donno how to do it without hurting her real bad....plsu the pain shes caused me..i donno..i guess im posting it here cuz i donno how else to do it other than ..you cheated on me...bye.... because usually id wanna work it out...but i think that if you do it once youll PROBABLY do it again and it just shows hhow little respect she has for me after all theese years.so any ideas to do it gracefully..as for my friend..not my friend anymore

Damn bro ... sorry to hear that. My opinion would be for you to cut her loose and not talk to here ever agian (well for at least several years)... that's probably what I would do. Then I'd deal with the "friend".... the worse part is he kept if from you ... it would be different if he gave you a heads-up or something.

**inspiron** · 03-12-2007, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 92Notch

Damn bro ... sorry to hear that. My opinion would be for you to cut her loose and not talk to here ever agian (well for at least several years)... that's probably what I would do. Then I'd deal with the "friend".... the worse part is he kept if from you ... it would be different if he gave you a heads-up or something.

"Howzitgoin? Wassup? Oh, by the way, I'm popping your girl. Gotabrewferme?"

Colorado Cajun · 03-12-2007, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low&Slow

It's over, you just don't know it yet. Tell her you saw them and your done with the both of them, cut your losses, turn your back, walk away and never think about her again. If your buddy shows up to talk it over, break his damn nose and send him on his way too.

I have to agree with Low & Slow. That would be the mature thing to do. Then on the other hand the fun thing to do would be to hit it one more time, dump her before she gets her close back on, drive over to your buddy's house and tell him all about how you hit it.

Papke · 03-12-2007, 11:53 AM

This may be news to your friend and the girl...but honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships. You gotta be straight up about everything, no beating around the bush (I mean I guess you could beat the bush first like was suggested earlier), just lay it all out on the table. Either way she's going to have a lot to swallow.

Rockhead · 03-12-2007, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papke

just lay it all out on the table. Either way she's going to have a lot to swallow.

Your sick and I like that.........

GregR1 · 03-12-2007, 12:06 PM

guys, she's 18 or so. if you think she gives a rat's ass about 'responsibility' and honesty, you're likely way off the mark.

now, who's got pics of her?!!?

Low&Slow · 03-12-2007, 12:16 PM

I'll bet anyone, none of us gave him the advice he wanted to hear. Look, what you want to hear is how to get her back and make everything good again, thats not gonig to happen. We've all been where you are at one time or another and ends bad 90% of the time, all that said, your probably going to do what you want anyway so good luck.

**inspiron** · 03-12-2007, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GregR1

now, who's got pics of her?!!?

Papke · 03-12-2007, 12:43 PM

She's a looker.

BMW, you don't seem too upset about the whole situation...as best as I can tell from reading your post. But if you are, no sweat man. If you let her go, it will get worse before it gets better...but it will get better. I was in a similar situation when I graduated high school (granted, we weren't together for 6 years), and I was pretty torn up about it. But you'll soon realize that there are plenty of others...and the only problem you run into is that there's not enough time to sleep with all of them. Or buckle down with all of them...whatever floats your boat.

D_Klein · 03-12-2007, 01:20 PM

What you see is what you get. There's no deeper truth than that. It's too bad to see people staying in garbage relationships because of denial. I've been there before, as I'm sure most of us have.

Dave Nadeau · 03-12-2007, 01:23 PM

Now we all agree that he should not have a 1200 BMW for his first machine....But maybe he can handle Fast women. He won't need to be wearing his gear if he falls off

Papke · 03-12-2007, 01:28 PM

I think gear is just as important with fast women as it is with fast bikes.

Either road rash or some other kind of rash.

GregR1 · 03-12-2007, 01:48 PM

find yourself a woman with no gag reflex and, um, enjoy a bit of time with her!

themeatmanlandry · 03-12-2007, 01:51 PM

Smear a condom with tabasco. That'll send the message loud and clear.

GregR1 · 03-12-2007, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by themeatmanlandry

Smear a condom with tabasco.

yeah, just be sure to smear it on the OUTSIDE, not the inside.

sunny · 03-12-2007, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by themeatmanlandry

Smear a condom with tabasco. That'll send the message loud and clear.

why waste tabasco? just a few drops will be sufficient.

POE-BOY SAMICH · 03-12-2007, 02:00 PM

Maybe I'm just a romantic

, but I believe relationships can be repaired after there has been some cheating.

HOWEVER, 2 reasons why this is not going to work in this case:

1) There has to be some SERIOUS maturity and some SERIOUS soul-searching done by both people involved and I just don't think that's possible here; not at 18yrs of age.

2) The first step to recovery is HONESTY. If you KNOW what you saw and she denied cheating when you confronted her, then there's no hope. The fact she's denying what YOU know to be true means she doesn't care enough to make things right. It would be different if she admitted to it and wanted to make it right. But her denial leaves no doubt that it is over.

Now, I don't care how much you hate what this girls done, DON'T treat your next girl like crap in memory of this girl.

Go in to your next relationship with an open mind and forget about this one. We all get a bad mate in our lives sometimes. What you are going through right now is what will make you appreciate the RIGHT woman even more.

I've been on the right and wrong sides of break-ups and the last thing you wanna do is take it out on your next mate. That's a sure way of ruining something that could have been good.

Now about your "best friend". I'll leave that up to your discretion. But here's a little advice: Don't do anything that can land you in jail, but don't pull any punches either. He's a dude. No need to pull any punches or worry about salvaging the relationship. In fact, take out all your anger on HIM and this way you won't have any lingering hate/anger when you are looking for your next girlfriend.

Low&Slow · 03-12-2007, 02:01 PM

I expected Sunny to give some sound and thoughtful advice, and she did.

03-12-2007, 10:12 AM	#22 (permalink)
Ext1jdh Top Gear ! Full Throttle! Join Date: Apr 2005 Bike: Sold Location: Elgin, IL, US Posts: 5,396	As Bill Hicks said: "It's gonna take a very special woman … or a bunch of average ones." __________________ I am lurking. I am likely to be eaten by a grue.

03-12-2007, 11:53 AM	#26 (permalink)
Papke In Training Join Date: Jul 2006 Bike: 2005 Red M50 Location: Fredericksburg, VA Posts: 102	This may be news to your friend and the girl...but honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships. You gotta be straight up about everything, no beating around the bush (I mean I guess you could beat the bush first like was suggested earlier), just lay it all out on the table. Either way she's going to have a lot to swallow. __________________ Chancellor Engine Company 5 Second to None

03-12-2007, 12:43 PM	#31 (permalink)
Papke In Training Join Date: Jul 2006 Bike: 2005 Red M50 Location: Fredericksburg, VA Posts: 102	She's a looker. BMW, you don't seem too upset about the whole situation...as best as I can tell from reading your post. But if you are, no sweat man. If you let her go, it will get worse before it gets better...but it will get better. I was in a similar situation when I graduated high school (granted, we weren't together for 6 years), and I was pretty torn up about it. But you'll soon realize that there are plenty of others...and the only problem you run into is that there's not enough time to sleep with all of them. Or buckle down with all of them...whatever floats your boat. __________________ Chancellor Engine Company 5 Second to None

03-12-2007, 01:20 PM	#32 (permalink)
D_Klein 100% Title Free Join Date: Feb 2006 Bike: '05 GSX-R750 (Anniversary Edition) Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 1,544	What you see is what you get. There's no deeper truth than that. It's too bad to see people staying in garbage relationships because of denial. I've been there before, as I'm sure most of us have. __________________ "Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba...." ~Hunter S. Thompson

03-12-2007, 01:23 PM	#33 (permalink)
Dave Nadeau Handlebar Consultant Join Date: Mar 2006 Bike: 08 ElectraGlide ( IN Vivid Black)!!!!!!!!!! Location: Bridgewater, Ma Posts: 644	Now we all agree that he should not have a 1200 BMW for his first machine....But maybe he can handle Fast women. He won't need to be wearing his gear if he falls off __________________ The faster I go the behinder I get..... US Navy 68-72 Amphibs, Little Creek, Va. "The Old Man"

03-12-2007, 10:08 AM	#21 (permalink)
Rockhead M-J Master Poster Join Date: Jan 2006 Bike: M50 Location: 1060 West Addison, Chicago Posts: 3,802	Agreed, this relationships over. Go get yourself a new woman or many new women.

03-12-2007, 12:06 PM	#28 (permalink)
GregR1 ... Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 2,308	guys, she's 18 or so. if you think she gives a rat's ass about 'responsibility' and honesty, you're likely way off the mark. now, who's got pics of her?!!?

03-12-2007, 12:16 PM	#29 (permalink)
Low&Slow Can Ride And Chew Gum Join Date: Sep 2006 Bike: 07 Vulcan 1600 Classic Location: Bell City, Louisiana Posts: 1,947	I'll bet anyone, none of us gave him the advice he wanted to hear. Look, what you want to hear is how to get her back and make everything good again, thats not gonig to happen. We've all been where you are at one time or another and ends bad 90% of the time, all that said, your probably going to do what you want anyway so good luck.

03-12-2007, 01:28 PM	#34 (permalink)
Papke In Training Join Date: Jul 2006 Bike: 2005 Red M50 Location: Fredericksburg, VA Posts: 102	I think gear is just as important with fast women as it is with fast bikes. Either road rash or some other kind of rash. __________________ Chancellor Engine Company 5 Second to None

03-12-2007, 01:48 PM	#35 (permalink)
GregR1 ... Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 2,308	find yourself a woman with no gag reflex and, um, enjoy a bit of time with her!

03-12-2007, 01:51 PM	#36 (permalink)
themeatmanlandry Happy-ass Lunatic Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 11,423	Smear a condom with tabasco. That'll send the message loud and clear. __________________ Go to hell

03-12-2007, 02:00 PM	#39 (permalink)
POE-BOY SAMICH U.B's LoveChild Join Date: Dec 2005 Bike: '07 Harley Road King Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 1,212	Maybe I'm just a romantic , but I believe relationships can be repaired after there has been some cheating. HOWEVER, 2 reasons why this is not going to work in this case: 1) There has to be some SERIOUS maturity and some SERIOUS soul-searching done by both people involved and I just don't think that's possible here; not at 18yrs of age. 2) The first step to recovery is HONESTY. If you KNOW what you saw and she denied cheating when you confronted her, then there's no hope. The fact she's denying what YOU know to be true means she doesn't care enough to make things right. It would be different if she admitted to it and wanted to make it right. But her denial leaves no doubt that it is over. Now, I don't care how much you hate what this girls done, DON'T treat your next girl like crap in memory of this girl. Go in to your next relationship with an open mind and forget about this one. We all get a bad mate in our lives sometimes. What you are going through right now is what will make you appreciate the RIGHT woman even more. I've been on the right and wrong sides of break-ups and the last thing you wanna do is take it out on your next mate. That's a sure way of ruining something that could have been good. Now about your "best friend". I'll leave that up to your discretion. But here's a little advice: Don't do anything that can land you in jail, but don't pull any punches either. He's a dude. No need to pull any punches or worry about salvaging the relationship. In fact, take out all your anger on HIM and this way you won't have any lingering hate/anger when you are looking for your next girlfriend. __________________ http://www.lonestarmotorcyclealliance.com/

03-12-2007, 02:01 PM	#40 (permalink)
Low&Slow Can Ride And Chew Gum Join Date: Sep 2006 Bike: 07 Vulcan 1600 Classic Location: Bell City, Louisiana Posts: 1,947	I expected Sunny to give some sound and thoughtful advice, and she did.

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