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| Off Topic A place for goofing off and interests other than motorcycles. Talk about anything here, but please keep subject matter family oriented. Do not include links to sites that aren't. |
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03-07-2007, 03:01 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Happy-ass Lunatic  Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 11,423
|  Will it last 'til Friday?
I rode my bike to work yesterday because I had an inspection and an appointment. I stopped by Wendy's for a burger and I immediately notice a scooter parker, like, RIGHT in the doorway as you walk in. I think to myself, "What a 'tard." Little did I know . . . As I walk in, I'm carrying my helmet and I scan the room in hopes of catching a glimpse of a person so idiotic as to park their bike in such peril when I see . . . an oh-so-obviously mentally handicapped guy about 17-22 years old. It's his bike. He hollers out "WASSUP?" as I walk in. I gently nod with a "Do I know you?" face, so as to let the other patrons (who are almost all startled by his outburst) know that I don't actually know the loud guy that's using his scooter for a door stopper. After standing in line and ordering, I *intentionally* sit on the other side of the restaurant from the kid, because I don't really feel like talking to him while I eat. He immediately starts asking me questions at the top of his lungs across the restaurant: "'ZATYOURBIKE?!?" "HOWFARYOUBEEN?!?" People are starting to stare already, so I cut my losses and move all my stuff (helmet, duffel bag, clipboard and food) to the table next to his. He quiets down, but only a tad. Bear in mind, I'm not making fun of handicapped people by any means . . . but the story gets funnier (and sadder). Him: "WHEREYOUHEADIN'?!?!?"  tmml: "I have a dentist appointment" Him: "IDON'TLIKETHEDENTIST!!" tmml: "I LLLOVE the dentist!" Him: "IHATETHEDENTIST!!!!!!" tmml: "I wish IIIIIIIWWWAS a dentist!"  Him: "HOWMUCHGASDOESITHOLD?!?" tmml: "About 5.3 gallons." Him: "HOWLONGDOESITLAST?!?!?" tmml: "About 200 miles." <long pause while he ponders this like Einstein might ponder the universe> Him: " ? ? ? PERHOUR?!?!?!" tmml: "No, 200 miles. I could ride to about Nashville, then I'd have to get gas." He sits with a quizzed look on his face, like a monkey working a math problem. Him: "WILLITLAST'TILFRIDAY?!?!?" tmml: "Yeah . . . it'll last 'til Friday."  He follows me out to the parking lot and shows me his scooter (which is still parked literally 3' from the entrance. The side of it is all rashed. Him: "IT'SA2006!!!" Nice. It's less than a year old and it already looks like he slid across a cheese grater. He pushes his scooter over next to my bike while I load up. I told him I was getting on the interstate, and I'd see him later. We both pushed our bikes back out of the parking spot and . . . This kid fires his scooter up and takes off like a bat out of hell, barely missing hte front wheel of my Bandit. He gets to the street and takes a friggin' left-hand turn into traffic that made the hair on my neck stand up. I can't help wondering: 1) if this guy can even read, let alone pass the driver's test; and 2) who in their right mind gave this kid a two-wheeled vehicle and sent him out into traffic? Eh? WTF?  . . . "will it last 'til Friday" . . . |
