Valentines for the Dejected & Dysfunctional - Motorcycle-Journal Forums

**drgibson** · 02-14-2006, 07:15 AM

Ever gotten one of those packages of candy hearts with the cute little sayings like "Hug Me", "XXOO", "Be Mine", and "I Love You" Sickening isn't it?

Have you ever heard of Dispair.com? If not you are truly missing out on some great humor. They offer Valentines called "Bitter Sweets" for the Dejected and Dysfunctional.

Here is their advertisement:

Messages recalling an almost forgotten, unbearably painful memory of being dumped. Or perhaps of a dysfunctional, psychotic ex-girlfriend or boyfriend. Or of that cruel-hearted girl (or boy) in elementary school who rejected your valentine solicitations, informing you that Jake (or Holly) was "so totally way hotter."

Now available in TWO unique collections, "Dejected" and "Dysfunctional," featuring up to 37 unique sayings each!

"Dejected" sayings include:

I MISS MY EX • PEAKED AT 17 • MAIL ORDER • TABLE FOR 1
I CRY ON Q • U C MY BLOG? • REJECT PILE • PILLOW HUGGIN
ASYLUM BOUND • DIGNITY FREE • PROG FAN • STATIC CLING
WE HAD PLANS • XANADU 2NITE • SETTLE 4LESS • NOT AGAIN

"Dysfunctional" sayings include:

RUMORS TRUE • PRENUP OKAY? • HE CAN LISTEN • GAME ON TV
CALL A 900# • P.S. I LUV ME • DO MY DISHES • UWATCH CMT
PAROLE IS UP! • BE MY YOKO • U+ME=GRIEF • I WANT HALF
RETURN 2 PIT • NOT MY MOMMY • BE MY PRISON • C THAT DOOR?

Truly, "BitterSweets(tm)" are the perfect gift for you OR for someone you love, especially if that special someone is one who doesn't want to hurt your feelings but just doesn't feel that way about you but still wants to be friends so they can torment you with stories about their crushes on someone who doesn't appreciate them like you do, can't love them like you can, and actually takes pleasure in corralling a herd of fawning "just friends" behind themselves as they indulge in one self-destructive relationship after another, with no hope of ever finding true love, despite an army of souls eager to lavish it upon them.

(You know what we're talking about.)

Supplies are limited. But the pain that accompanies them may not be.

Available in six different flavors, including: Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid.

Made in a facility that processes nuts and peanuts.

stp1971 · 02-14-2006, 07:18 AM

Funny Don!!!!!!!

**drgibson** · 02-14-2006, 08:52 AM

Wake up People!! This is funny stuff!!

Firedog · 02-14-2006, 11:12 AM

I think that I'd rather have ones that say something like, "Eat my shorts"..

Pinhy · 02-14-2006, 11:18 AM

those despair.com candies are the story of my life

02-14-2006, 07:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
drgibson Thumper Mod Joined: Jul 2005 Bike: 2008 Kawasaki KLR 650 Location: Dallas, Texas Directly above the center of the earth. Posts: 10,476	Valentines for the Dejected & Dysfunctional Ever gotten one of those packages of candy hearts with the cute little sayings like "Hug Me", "XXOO", "Be Mine", and "I Love You" Sickening isn't it? Have you ever heard of Dispair.com? If not you are truly missing out on some great humor. They offer Valentines called "Bitter Sweets" for the Dejected and Dysfunctional. Here is their advertisement: Messages recalling an almost forgotten, unbearably painful memory of being dumped. Or perhaps of a dysfunctional, psychotic ex-girlfriend or boyfriend. Or of that cruel-hearted girl (or boy) in elementary school who rejected your valentine solicitations, informing you that Jake (or Holly) was "so totally way hotter." Now available in TWO unique collections, "Dejected" and "Dysfunctional," featuring up to 37 unique sayings each! "Dejected" sayings include: I MISS MY EX • PEAKED AT 17 • MAIL ORDER • TABLE FOR 1 I CRY ON Q • U C MY BLOG? • REJECT PILE • PILLOW HUGGIN ASYLUM BOUND • DIGNITY FREE • PROG FAN • STATIC CLING WE HAD PLANS • XANADU 2NITE • SETTLE 4LESS • NOT AGAIN "Dysfunctional" sayings include: RUMORS TRUE • PRENUP OKAY? • HE CAN LISTEN • GAME ON TV CALL A 900# • P.S. I LUV ME • DO MY DISHES • UWATCH CMT PAROLE IS UP! • BE MY YOKO • U+ME=GRIEF • I WANT HALF RETURN 2 PIT • NOT MY MOMMY • BE MY PRISON • C THAT DOOR? Truly, "BitterSweets(tm)" are the perfect gift for you OR for someone you love, especially if that special someone is one who doesn't want to hurt your feelings but just doesn't feel that way about you but still wants to be friends so they can torment you with stories about their crushes on someone who doesn't appreciate them like you do, can't love them like you can, and actually takes pleasure in corralling a herd of fawning "just friends" behind themselves as they indulge in one self-destructive relationship after another, with no hope of ever finding true love, despite an army of souls eager to lavish it upon them. (You know what we're talking about.) Supplies are limited. But the pain that accompanies them may not be. Available in six different flavors, including: Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid. Made in a facility that processes nuts and peanuts. __________________ “The only difference between a Pit Bull and a Hockey Mom is lipstick.” Sarah Palin “Note this is in no way a political endorsement; I’m just quotin’ the funny stuff.” drgibson

02-14-2006, 07:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
stp1971 May 2007 Member of the month Joined: Mar 2005 Bike: 2004 Suzuki Intruder 1500LC / 2005 Suzuki DL650 V-Strom Location: Douglasville, Georgia Posts: 7,775	Funny Don!!!!!!! __________________ Biketoberfest 2006 flashback courtesy of Intimid8er: "Like you knew damn well you shouldn't eat something like that, but all be damned to hell, you were gonna eat it!" __________________

02-14-2006, 08:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
drgibson Thumper Mod Joined: Jul 2005 Bike: 2008 Kawasaki KLR 650 Location: Dallas, Texas Directly above the center of the earth. Posts: 10,476	Wake up People!! This is funny stuff!! __________________ “The only difference between a Pit Bull and a Hockey Mom is lipstick.” Sarah Palin “Note this is in no way a political endorsement; I’m just quotin’ the funny stuff.” drgibson

02-14-2006, 11:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
Firedog Foil Inspector Joined: Oct 2005 Bike: BMW K1200LT Location: West Lafayette, IN Posts: 961	I think that I'd rather have ones that say something like, "Eat my shorts".. __________________ "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln

02-14-2006, 11:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
Pinhy Doesn't think you're funny Joined: Dec 2004 Bike: 05 Boulevard M50 Black Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 5,210	those despair.com candies are the story of my life __________________ (a polite PM would have worked, but now it's about principle)

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