Just bought the wife an S50.....

[Kehau D.]

Originally Posted by chadrob30

Well, sh*t hit the fan last night. My wife's mom found out she bought a bike and all hell broke loose. Mind you, my wife is 27 years old, a college graduate, a board certified Registered Nurse and a mother and her mom is still raising hell about the bike...to make a long story short, I eavesdropped on the phone conversation between them and found out some things I always suspected, but couldn't prove. I found out her mom hates me, lol. All of this over a bike. Her mom thinks it was my idea for the wife to get a bike, but in reality it was hers all the way....anyway, I told the wife her parents are no longer allowed in my house and all planned family get togethers will be without me, by my choice. So, to make a long story short, the S50 is going back to the dealer with 35 miles on it and I will be getting a 4 wheeler and a backrest for my M50 so the wife can ride along....you gotta love in laws.

WHAT?!?! Oh no, I'm so sorry about that, and I'm sorry your wife's mom is being so difficult. I hope your wife reconsiders the decision to take the bike back....I would hate to think that she would regret doing that later. Your wife is 27 now, all grown up with a successful life of her own...her mom needs to do the same for herself. Good luck.

Aloha,
Kehau

[Danr]

She's 27for pete's sake !

[MagnumForce]

Hey man, I hope your mother-in-law would just let it go. She's done raising children. At 27, your wife left the nest a long time ago. Hopefully, your wife will reconsider her decision. As far as you're concerned, it's your wife's happiness that matters, not your mother-in-laws.

[chadrob30]

Yea, the whole fiasco is really wearing my wife out. She was a nervous wreck tonight getting ready for work, it should make for a long night. She basically said if it takes returning the bike to get her mom back on her side then the bike has to go. I guess it's understandable from my wife's standpoint, but from here on out the inlaws are not to be in my house and my wife knows this. Shoot, when I turned 18 and joined the army my mom was like "you're on your own now kid, but if you ever need a place to crash you're always welcome". I cannot believe that this %%%%% is still trying to run my wife's life, lol. Ah well, there is a silver lining to the whole deal, I now know how the old bag really feels about me....lol.

[Kehau D.]

Originally Posted by chadrob30

Yea, the whole fiasco is really wearing my wife out. She was a nervous wreck tonight getting ready for work, it should make for a long night. She basically said if it takes returning the bike to get her mom back on her side then the bike has to go.

:::sigh::: As someone whose parents disowned her for two years after marrying outside the race, there's some advice I'd like to share for your wife. If that's the reason she feels she has to return the bike, then I'm definitely all for NOT returning it. I'm sure your MIL feels she's looking out for her daughter's future by complaining about the bike, but your wife's future is for her decide. Returning the bike will not "get her mom back on her side" because if not the bike, it's always going to be something. Your wife should not feel like she needs to comply with her mother's every wish to make her happy, her mother needs to comply with her daughter's decisions and be happy for her. Your wife may find that she needs to surpress enjoying all the things that she's entitled to enjoy merely to please Mom but she may find as she gets older that regrets will creep in. I'm a mother myself and there are many things I fear for my own kids. I'm still recovering from my son opening my eyes last week to the fact that he starts high school this fall. Maybe I'm overly independent by sharing this advice, being temporarily outcasted from my own family and being a Military wife for the last 15 [almost] years has made me quite the strong-willed, yet sometimes stubborn, person that I am now. But please know this, if your wife enjoys the bike, then she's entitled to it and that's her decision alone to make, without regard to her mother. I'm not saying she should disrespect her mother at all, her mom has a right to her fears and feelings, but her mom needs to not disrespect her own daughter on her desires and feelings. I don't mean any disrespect whatsoever from this post, just honesty.

Aloha,
Kehau

[Rickster]

Your mother in law isn't putting her foot down out of love, it's out of fear. Fear of loosing her daughter. Which, by the way is the same reason she doesn't like you, you took the daughter away. Your wife needs to tell her mother that her meddling is driving a wedge between them, and will eventually lead to the very loss she fears so much.
I had to learn this lesson regarding my son when he was 25, we have since become best of friends.
By the way, if you try to stick to your decision to keep her mother out of your house, things will get real ugly. Don't ask me how I know!

[texrider]

Hate it when that happens....But, at least your ol' lady digs the bike thing....

Maybe your mom in law has seen your avatar photo....

My wife hates bikes, so I now have three of them....Can't say that has done wonders for my love life, but I'll presume you don't have those issues with your in-law.....

My baby sister (in her 40's) wants a bike, has taken the riders course, and got her M/C endorsement. Dad thinks I should be the one to talk her out of it (yeah, right)! So, I have been talking to her about which bikes to consider, and where to buy....

Methinks "she" likes to pull your chain, so calmly letting her know that biking will be a part of "your" family activities may be in order, to clear the air. Then, the ball is in her court. If she wants to hold a grudge, let her. Better for you not to be the one ending relationships over her bike opinions.....

Of course, all the above is void if you live in her basement, or she contibutes to your family finances....

[chadrob30]

All good points, and all points taken. I am standing my ground on this one...if they come to my house and won't leave when asked, I'll have to call the cops. They have to realize they can't come into our lives and stir sh*t up just because she doesn't agree with what is going on. If they want to stop by and get the kids or whatever, that's fine as long as they stay on the porch. My wife is serious about taking the bike back, but says she will get another some other time. For now I'll pick up an ATV and a backrest and hope the monster in law doesn't have any strange "accidents".

[Scott58]

Unbelieveable. Another great reason I'm not married.

[blackie1491]

Your wife needs your support, do not make it harder for her.
The division you create will make it worse. Be above it and support your wife.
Mother-in-laws are just that. Your wife is the one who needs you.
Be there for her.

[chadrob30]

Originally Posted by blackie1491

Your wife needs your support, do not make it harder for her.
The division you create will make it worse. Be above it and support your wife.
Mother-in-laws are just that. Your wife is the one who needs you.
Be there for her.

You're not telling me anything I don't already know, but I appreciate the input. I have been supportive of her, and if she wants to return the bike, then I'll support her by riding it to the dealer for her. She says she doesn't want to create riff between her and her mom, which is understandable. I, on the other hand, don't give a rat's *ss about the mother in law. She was the one who started this whole ordeal, and also threw in the part about not even liking me from the beginning. So, as I see it, why should I try and pretend I like her when I know she doesn't like me? Anyway, at least now I know where I stand...lol.

[Rickster]

One option that might work in your favor, instead of against you, would be to not kick the mother in law out of your house, but instead, you leave whenever she comes over. Invite the wife, and kids to come with you, if they don't want to come along, say OK, and take the bike for a ride. Tell the wife to call your cell phone when her mom leaves so you can come home. This would take you out of "BAD GUY STATUS" and hang it right where it belongs.I know feeling like you are being kicked out of your own house goes against the grain, but it would work better for you in the long run.

[Scott58]

I had the exact opposite happen to me nightwolf. The wife and mother-in-law hated each other and i tried to get them to bury the hatchet. Once the woman got into our lives it was a nightmare and we were over in about 6 months. Not sure what the best bet is on stuff like this. i know it will be a long time before i have another relationship with the intent of marriage.

[blackie1491]

It is tough, but allowing them to see your family and just taking off for a ride may be the best way to deal with it.
Do not make the wife choose. You can only loose in the long run.

I moved north to the Yukon, that solved all the problems on both sides.
We were gone 17 years. Out of sight out of mind.

[intimid8er]

Originally Posted by Rickster

One option that might work in your favor, instead of against you, would be to not kick the mother in law out of your house, but instead, you leave whenever she comes over.

Chad....Rickster has a great idea.......I love this option.....

Get the nastiest exhaust you can, be waiting in the driveway when you know they are coming, fire it up when they pull in, and just rev her to West BeJeezus and back as they walk up the driveway. Then make a hell of a spectacle as you leave!!!


On the other hand, my mother-in-law threatened make my bike look like the one in your sig pic. Three others followed me out the door to the dealership when I made the decision. She was suddenly outnumbered. In one fell swoop, there were four bikes in the family, soon to be a fifth. Haven't heard a peep since!

[chadrob30]

Eh, it's all over now. Took the S50 back and picked up a Kawasaki Prairie 360 ATV, lol. I'm still not going to any family outings though, and that I will not waver from. If I know the ol' bag is coming over I'm either leaving or heading for the office. Thanks for all the advice, etc....