I looked under my seat this morning and the relay is the small module directly beside the fuse box. It unplugs pretty easily. The manual has a procedure for testing the various components in the module. Assuming it's the relay and not the indicator light switch, given your symptoms, my guess is that there is a burned out diode that is not allowing the module to turn on the relay if the bike is in neutral.
I forgot to bring the manual in to work with me, so I can't tell you offhand what the procedure is for checking the module. I'll try to let you know this afternoon when I get home.
I didn't take my fairings off to find the indicator light switch, so I can't help you too much on it's location
