By Captain Crash

I love menus. A menu is like a world of possibilities. Recently I was at place in Kansas City called “Mama’s 39th Street Diner”. You want to see a menu? They go a menu. Good chow. Loads of good chow. They have a cake display up front that knocks you out—made myself sick on carrot cake, but it was worth it.
I like to read menus. I like to make stupid decisions with menus. You know, that ‘this sounds weird, but probably tastes good’ kind of thing. I ate my way through Kansas City (thank you Food Channel!). We stopped at a place called “Grinders” and I saw something that looked good in that weird way. It was a “Goldberg” pizza. Crust, pesto, olive oil, salmon and cream cheese; yes a pizza with pesto, salmon and cream cheese. As Yoda would say “Great it was!”

When you’re a new eatery what do you order? Do you get out on a limb and try something new? Do you look to see if a “hamburger” is on the menu? Do you just say, “I’m not ready yet” let someone else order and say “I’ll have that too!” I admit, I’ve done the lazy, easy ‘follow the leader’ thing and let someone else make the decision and then just followed.

Sometimes it works out–sometimes it don’t.

I was in my car the other day and I was getting off the freeway. I was just following the car in front of me (bad plan, wasn’t looking ahead at all, just lazy). At the bottom of the ramp he stopped. I stopped. He put on his left turn signal. I put on my left turn signal. The car behind me put on their left turn signal. Light changes to green left arrow, guy in front turns left, goes in way too shallow, has to really cut it hard to stay in the lane, I go in really shallow, have to really cut it hard to stay in the lane, and the guy behind me does the same thing.

I know because I looked into the mirror. See, once I realized I had blindly followed the guy in front of me, and screwed up, I looked to see if the guy behind me had followed me. He had! So did the guy behind him.

Following blindly isn’t always a good idea. At the core of motorcycling is a single track vehicle with an internal combustion engine—that’s what motorcycles are! There are different brands of motorcycles and different styles of motorcycles, but fundamentally they are all the same, two wheels and an internal combustion engine. That doesn’t make them identical, it just makes for a wide palette. It’s like food! Food is food right? It’s all the same? WRONG! You’ll find tremendous variations on food. You can get food just about anywhere. Go into a bar? You can get food. Go into a deli? You can get food. Go to a gas station? Food. But what kind? That’s what menus are for! To tell you what kind of food is available.

If you’re in a pizza joint, don’t be surprised if they don’t have raw fish. If you wanted sashimi you should be at a sushi bar NOT a pizza joint. If you want breakfast at 10pm at night, the piano bar at the Waldorf probably ain’t serving! Want a good hoagie? Don’t go to BBQ joint.

The type of restaurant is the first part of the menu! Want a motorcycle? Don’t go to the Chevy dealer. Want a cruiser, then you need to go to a dealer that serves cruisers. Want to hit that triple and take a nice shot off the berm? Find a dealer with dirtbikes. If you want to go across the country and never put a wheel on asphalt then you need to go to a dealer that sells adventure touring bikes and reeeeeally good GPS.

A big chunk of this really comes down to you. Why do you want a bike? What do you want it to do? I was the instructor in a training class once and this kindly older lady was in the class. As a passenger she had really enjoyed riding on motorcycles. This was her chance to learn to ride motorcycles. About half way through the course she realized that she liked riding on motorcycles but didn’t enjoy riding motorcycles. It was impressive to see that she had come to understand that she was a passenger, not an operator. Fortunately she hadn’t purchased a bike yet. Can you imagine plunking 12K down for a new ride getting on it for a week and then realizing you don’t like to ride! Better to find out before you purchase.

First: go places that are new to you. Give new stuff a chance! When I’m at a restaurant that’s new to me and they have neat stuff on the menu the first thing I do is look for a ‘sampler’ plate; that way you can order something that will give everyone at the table a taste of what’s available. MSF, Team Oregon, IdahoSTAR classes are a great way of sampling motorcycling. You pay your money, they supply the bike, the range, helmets, instructors—the whole enchilada. All you need to do is show up dressed appropriately. Riding someone else’s bike to see if you like riding is a good deal. Getting some professional training and input? Good deal.

Second, remember that motorcycling is a broad palette. There are more specialized machines available to motorcyclists than any other motor enthusiasts. One problem we face as riders is that once we’ve picked a flavor, we never try anything else. We just come in and order the same thing day after day after day. Or we follow the guy in front of us who has the same thing day after day after day.

May I suggest something?

Ride another flavor bike. Try a new road. Experiment a little. What’s the worst that can happen? You might find out you can ride with your feet in front of you! Or that windshields are really neat! Or that the trip around the lake is better clockwise than counterclockwise! Maybe riding in the high desert is more fun than you realize—or you could learn that a 300 mile day can be pretty dang cool on the right bike (especially if you know where to stop and eat).

If someone offers you a taste of a pesto/salmon/creamcheese pizza? Take a bite. Part of what divides the motorcycle nation is that we order what the guy next to us is ordering. Isn’t it time to look over at the next table and say “I’ll have what they’re having”? Come on, take a chance–you might like it. Worst thing that can happen is you’ll know another thing you don’t like!